Elevation and Excavation
by Adspiro
Summary: (A u2 fan fiction. If you are not a fan, please still read because it's a nice little story.) MacPhisto has been working underground for years now, trying to find the key that unlocks every lock in the world. He finds it in the most unlikely set of hands. Read as he tries to steal this key from the band U2, and follow U2 as they try to evade the evil MacPhisto!


Somewhere deep below the earth, under New York City, where man thought it impossible to thrive, there was a massive headquarters. Only those who dwelled below knew how to get in and out. It was a labyrinth of halls and passages, usually empty, save a few guards patrolling the area. These halls were very twisting and long and often opened up to multiple smaller hallways, making it easy for one to get lost if they didn't have a GPS handy with them. Did I mention this underground headquarter was very high tech? Well, it certainly is. It possessed some machinery that people above ground would not expect to see for some time. It ranged from tracking devices to surveillance to weapons. Whatever they had, it was most likely better than what was up in the real world. They had inventions that could locate anyone in the world with just the push of a button. They had guns that could generate force fields, and guns that could paralyze someone with a simple pull of a trigger. And no one knew about them. Indeed, they were so secretive, the U.S. government intelligence knew nothing of them. But of course, they had a name, like every good secret agency. They were A.N.T, or the Agency of Nationwide Thieves. Their mission was simple: locate any rob the wealthiest banks or homes in the world. Their goal, or rather their leader's goal, was to become the richest man in the world. Because if you had the most money, that automatically made you the most powerful too. Speaking of this leader, where was the guy?

In the center of the entire lair was the main control room. It had a high ceiling and was very wide, like a giant dome. The walls were not really walls, but it was a screen, projecting various images and maps. A control panel surrounded the entire perimeter of the room as well. A figure stood at the very end of the room, staring up at the screen with his hands held behind his back. He wore a suit with a gold blazer, and a pair of black slacks, with his dark hair slicked back. At that moment the doors at the opposite end opened and a short young man who looked like a nervous wreck scurried in. "Mr. MacPhisto, sir?" he called out breathlessly, his voice nasally and high pitched. The figure who'd been watching the screen turned around to face the man. He had a definitive jaw and pale skin. One eye was a dark blue; the other was covered with an eye patch. He frowned, staring at the man menacingly with his single eye. He looked none too impressed with the man's entrance.

"What is it now, Rat? I thought I told you to get me that hamburger I wanted," MacPhisto said with a look of irritation, staring down at the twitching chap in front of him.

"I-I was of course, sir. But something came up. I was on my way to fetch you the food when I ran into Mr. Scrubbs. He had something very important to tell you, but he had other business to attend to so he asked that I tell you," Rat said, and MacPhisto grabbed him hastily by the collar of his shirt, his eyes suddenly wide with anticipation.

"Well then, what is it, fool? Spit it out!" he said, a certain hunger burning in his those eyes of his.

Rat gulped, a sweat beginning to form on his brow. "He said he found it. He found the key!" he spluttered, and was relieved when MacPhisto loosened his grip on his shirt's collar. The man's expression softened somewhat; he appeared shocked at the news, like he never expected it to happen. But soon, the fierceness had returned, and he was yanking Rat by the collar again.

"Where? Where is it?" he asked.

"In Ireland, sir. Dublin, he said. It's in the possession of a man name David Evans," Rat said in his high pitched voice, letting out a squeak of fright as MacPhisto roughly released his grip entirely on him.

"Well, this is…This is marvelous news," he said, laughing maniacally, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "And he's located the house, correct?"

"Yes sir," came the breathless reply of Rat, who was still trying to regain his composure.

MacPhisto turned to the wide screen of the room, and he made his way towards the control panel. After pressing a few beeping buttons, muttering to himself all the while, a profile of this David Evans chap appeared on the screen, along with all his information. His house indeed was located on the outskirts of Dublin. It was a reasonably large house. It had two stories, painted yellow, and stuck out like a sore thumb from what the picture on the screen showed.

"Hmm…" MacPhisto rubbed his chin as he analyzed the photos and the information. H then turned to Rat, who suddenly stood ready to take out any command. "Here's what I want you to do. Listen carefully. If you screw this up, you can say bye bye to your job here with A.N.T. I want you to go find Jerry Bluewater. He's one of our best spies. I imagine you'd find him in the agents' main office. Tell him I want him to fly out to Dublin immediately. Tell him about the key. He'll know what to do from there," he said, and Rat nodded, scurrying away and managing not to trip over himself as he left the large control room.

MacPhisto watched with narrowed eyes as Rat left him, and with hands clasped behind back he turned back to the screen, which still portrayed the images of Mr. Evans and his odd home. "So, they finally found it. The key to any lock," he spoke to himself, laughing grimly at the thought. "I do hope it doesn't mean much to Mr. Evans. Because I'll have my hands on that soon enough, and then nothing can stop me from becoming the richest man in the world."


End file.
